the flash so nice, you loaded it thrice
just wanted to say that
hate to be negative nancy...
...but i'm not REALLY being a negative nancy. i'm just, you know, being, like, honest, so you can, like, you know, improve and stuff.
i gave you five stars because you had the patience and dedication to make a 22 minute short film.
i gave you another star because the phone-head-thing was cool, and as far as i know, an original idea.
i gave you another star because the plot wasn't completely and utterly god-awful, i suppose. i mean, you were trying.
...buuut it was still kinda lame. hence the 7. sorry. there was just too much sap, too mcuh emotion that you hadn't earned. this might not be obvious, but creating emotion in a short film, especially an animated one, is difficult, and requires hard work and time. to make an audience sad, you have to do more than drop a sad face on a sad character in some arbitrary sad situation and put on some sad music.
actually, that's a complete lie. judging by the reviews you're getting, you can reach about 90% of Newgrounds-farers this way. nonetheless, it takes more than this to sway an intelligent audience. if you want to evoke emotion, you must first strive to create characters with complex, dynamic, believable personalities. here's a good place for you to start: work on portraying emotions that aren't at their fullest extremes. the mood in this movie was relentlessly melodramatic, nearly always so-sad-im-gunna-cry or so-happy-im-gunna cry. real people aren't like that. if you understate some moods, the bits that really need to be intensely emotional will be much stronger. you should do this by actually considering how a real person might feel in the certain situation and toning down the mood if you realize it wouldn't be such a big deal, as well as by writing in scenes and situations that are less dramatic. try writing a few scenes that aren't dramatic at all, but just help develop characters or ideas. this will make your work seem less like bad soap opera.
also, even if its 22 minutes, it's still a short film. try to keep it to one idea or theme: in your case, the relationship between Lucy and the inventor. all that stuff with the boy and the spaceship at the end really just shouldn't have been there. you should have some kind of positive emotion going on, but it should be worked into the main storyline. don't just throw a cute boy out of outer space to give it a happy ending.
i hope this will help you in future projects. please respond telling me i was helpful, or an asshole, or to tell me i take things too seriously.
I have received your review well.
". i'm just, you know, being, like, honest, so you can, like, you know, improve and stuff."
Of course. I love honesty, suggestions and points of views. etc.etc. And you're not being a negative nancy. You're a natural nancy. Naturaly you spoke what you feel. and naturaly this project wasn't good, so "negative" nancy.
"i gave you five stars because you had the patience and dedication to make a 22 minute short film."
For me. Patience and dedication doesnt really mean anything, in terms of "Have you seen a big feature length movies that is horrible? THere's gotta be some studio movie, or even independent feature length film that was HORRIBLE. Where you give it 0 out of ten even if it's "unfair". Cause obviously people invest time, but the end result is so bad, it makes you say "SO WHAT!". Did they have dedication and patience? So are you going to give them high marks? see? This is just me though.
"i gave you another star because the phone-head-thing was cool,"
"...buuut it was still kinda lame. "
I agree. Wait no i dont. IT IS LAME. Trust me i agree with everything you said.
I think you'd appreciate a great book. "STORY" by Robert Mckee. Get it.
I dont really have a disclaimer, but i can at least tell you one.
But I know this project is bad bad bad. it's lame. The nice and healthy thing is, i'm able to see and confess this. I've grown. Our future projects will destroy this project.
Thank you for your honesty.
show don't tell
the animation, as usual, is absolutely brilliant, but for me the narration kinda killed it
your other movies were so beautiful in how the visuals stood for themselves
the narration in this seemed kind of cheesy, like something from a bad nature film, and for me just detracted from the experience
i do like that you are trying to look at Bitey as a dynamic, emotional character, but if you could find a way to show this through visuals, it would be much more powerful!
it looks like effort went into this, but it playing this game just never became a pleasurable experience. the main reason is that the ball moved way too slowly. it was impossible for both the player and the computer to miss, resulting in a dull and endless volley. also, in traditional pong, the opponent is on the other side. its kind of a comforting tradition...
...the music is great though, im gunna look this eric skiff guy up...
Yeah for some reason when i uploaded the game the ball moved much slower....
You = God
This game is sheer brilliance. Please make more like it.
Best. Game. Ever.
That being mutually understood, even this masterpiece of ultimate godliness is no without a few minor problems. Firstly, some of the backgrounds have this glitch where the wrong parts of the scenery pop out in front of the characters in the wrong problems. Jump up and down under the blimp in the alien - hominid level and ull see. Also, if you make the source code available to the public, it would be INANITY! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make the source code available!
Haha, nobody wants to sift through my shitty Actionscript 1.0 code.
hah listen to my piece "too funny" we're on such a similar wavelength on the drums (at least in the beginning). like actually i'm not trying to advertise its just kinda alarming. anyway 4.5/5. it's sick but just needs something other than drums to be a 5/5, which i can tell you understand from your comments so... yeah good job
But this isn't a song. It's not made to be listened to like a song. It's made for other advanced producers who need ideas or just like to listen to this kind of step-by-step thing.
But, thanks anyways. I'm glad you liked the minimalism of it. :P
i can tell there's a lot of talent behind this but still can't listen to it for 7 minutes. seems like it needs vocals at least.
vocals and demo recoridng are coming shortly
excellent. love seeing quality abstract/experimental stuff on the site. (house and rave and techno is ok but this is more the kind of music i make/listen to). I love how the mix is so deep with hardly any clear bass hits, gives the song a good sense of space and warmth no matter how harsh the rest of the beats is. Great textures, very detailed. The very quiet low synth breakdown at 0:37 is interesting. Surprisingly effective minimal melody later (just the same note twice...) ... 4/5 9/10 very cool
Thank you man. I look forward to seeing more of your reviews as I become more and more intune with the glitches, composition, my inner beast and my inner character.
pretty... can i use it in a video game?
really cool piece! can i use it in a video game??
thats impressive as hell... could i use this in a video game?
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